One year later, Krabi.

Back in Krabi after nearly a year.

Back in Krabi after nearly a year, feels like I’m in a much better place on somehow.

I am learning to understand rather than immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of the past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude. – Bruce Lee

It’s funny how I’ve come across this quote from Bruce Lee for many many years yet I’ve only started to truly understand the meaning behind it.

Almost a year since I’ve been to Krabi, and what a year. It wasn’t easy, going through my blog and journal entries through the year was actually quite an uncomfortable and painful experience for myself even now. But I’m glad that I’ve been honest about it and tried to reflect upon it as honestly as I could.

The year was riddled with ups and downs, but in a large sense there was a slow and steady build up of momentum. Even through the down times, I knew I was going through it to come out the other side better.

The biggest breakthroughs were those in the mind.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance taught me that it’s ok to be stuck and stay stuck, because that is in itself a process of becoming unstuck. Often the solution to the problems we haven’t solved are outside the realms of our experience, hence the only way is to embrace being on the edge staring out into the unknown, because that’s where the answer lie.

Be Here Now taught me to be here now. Be in the difficult and painful situations, acknowledge it instead of trying to run away. Then actually take the steps to deal with it. Too often our minds forward project or fall back into the past and apply what they call hyperbolic time discounts on things that we ought to be doing today, thus procrastinating and never getting to where we want to go. It’s funny when you realise that, you realise that all you need to do to change your life is to change one day, and that day is today.

I am super thankful and grateful for the lessons that the year has taught me, I guess like what Bruce Lee said, I treasure the memory of my past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude.

And from here on out, I feel a sense of calm in a sea of uncertainty and opportunity. I guess it comes from the confidence and competence that I’ve learnt and sailed through troubled waters.

To be here a year out and to be looking ahead and focusing on what’s possible, I have to thank my lucky stars for it.

Focus on what's possible.

Focus on what’s possible.

And being back competing in the local athletics scene, what a blessing as well.

Final meeting Natalie, a young athlete who followed me through the years on social media, seeing her grow up into a great person with winning ways. Maybe I have a small part to play in it, and if it is the case then all the work through the years would have been more than worth it to me. What I didn’t tell her was that somehow actually she’s also a reason why I’m still on the track, because I can’t let her down by not finishing the race can I?

Also got to know a few more younger athletes in the local scene, I am grateful that I am able to share my experiences and stories with them. Hopefully they can learn from my mistakes and go further in life than what I managed.

So I’ll leave you with this music video from Avicii, which just about perfectly sums up my emotions and the message I am trying to share with you.

He said, “One day you’ll leave this world behind, so live a life that you will remember. My father told me when I was just a child, these are the nights that never die.”

Dream big, be strong, be brave, always pick yourself up after you fall, never give up.

On Being Me.

The track that I've called home for almost 3 and a half years now.

2 Days to race day.

I find myself, oddly calm.

I mean I still think and visualise a lot about what could happen over the weekend, as well as know what it could mean, but strangely I’m not worried or anxious at all.

I know I’ve put in the hard work, the past 15 weeks of training itself has been a test for me. And I feel for the state I’m in, I’m as ready as I can be.

I’m fit, I’m healthy and I’ve prepared, what more can I ask for?

Maybe it’s also because my thinking has matured. I’m no longer that kid with a chip on the knee trying desperately to prove his worth. All I want to do is to go up to the starting line and say to the world:

Here I am.

And in all honesty, this is me expressing me.

And if I can do that without any fear or inhibition, I know I have succeeded already.

England Indoor Combined Events Champs, 7-8th Jan, Day 1 and Day 2 first events 10.30am GMT. Once again will keep my twitter account updated with the latest results, will update this blog after the weekend so drop by if you want to see how I did.

Hope you too are rising up and facing your new year challenges as well.

Let’s all do this.

As you can see, reading Bruce Lee’s philosophy has had a big influnce on me. Thank you Bruce, you are truely legendary.

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