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And so, the London 2012 Olympics is over.

Finally went down to London on the last day of the games and managed to see the Men’s marathon, visited the Olympic Park (couldn’t quite get in because I had no tickets, but the shopping mall right next to the Park felt like it as there were loads of people from all over the world and Olympians in their team kits just roaming around) and watched the closing ceremony on a big screen at Victoria park with thousands of others.

Gosh, what an amazing and electric atmosphere! Everywhere you went in London you could see people from all over the world draped in their national flags, smiling and laughing, mixing around with total strangers from another part of the world.

And I think that is what the Olympics represent, yes it is a bubble, but it just shows humanity at its best and gives us a glimpse of hope of what the future could be.

Watching the closing ceremony of the games, especially during the athletes march in, I just kept thinking, how I was I was there part of it. Not as a spectator in the stands, but as one of the athletes.

These whole Games had been brilliant and I must say I’m gutted not to have made it.

I still remember back in 2005 when I watched how London won its Olympic bid back in Singapore, I was 18 then. I did quick calculations and thought, in 7 years I’ll be 25. That would be when most athletes peaked, thus the perfect opportunity for me to go for the Games.

It feels funny to be now at the other side of that 7 year tunnel, I am 25, and still about 3500 points short of the Olympic qualifying mark for decathlon.
I guess back then I just thought that is I believed it enough, wrote it down on the wall, go to the right places, somehow it would happen.

I talked myself into it, I talked everyone around who cared to listen about it and soon I became known as the guy who was going for the Olympics.

But the one most important thing was missing, the performance.

I only did my first decathlon in 2010, that’s a good 5 years after I first dreamt about making it to the London Games. And the part that was unforgivable was that many of the 10 events I only first competed then in 2010, even though I could have done so back in Singapore individually (Singapore does not have any decathlon competitions). Yes I was injured from my army days and everything, but I can’t help but think that I could have done more. If I had so, that would have been an additional 5 years of sprint and running training I could have gotten by now.

As you get older in life, you realise that you have a very short window to live out your full physical potential and do what you want to do.

But that is all in my past now and the saying goes, you can only understand life going backwards but you have to live life going forwards.

So what is my future going to be life? What will 7 years ahead look like?
Well, I’ll be 32, if I live that long that is (I sure do hope so, but as everything else, you’d never know).

I was doing 400m training on Saturday and I was just way off pace.
Sometimes I do feel that perhaps it’s a case of me not being talented enough to become a decathlete, it’s hard enough to be good in any 1 event, let alone 10.

Yet on the other hand I feel that I’m in the perfect event because I will never have the talent to make it to the Olympics as any one single eventer, but as a decathlete, becoming fit and skilled, I can.

Becoming fit and skilled is not about talent but about hard work.

And the question is, have I actually worked as hard and as smart as I could have all these years?

No.

Like these 400m sessions, I really dislike them and haven’t been doing much of them, but that is exactly what I always needed to be done.

So do I continue? Do I keep going on this path?

I won’t kid you, I desperately want to, for I know there is still a lot of points in the decathlon that could still be gained.

Will I reach Rio in 2016?

I’ll be entirely honest with you, I don’t know.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. – Samuel Beckett 

I guess this time I’ve wised up, not like the young naïve kid when I was 18, I’ve learnt that just because you write it down doesn’t mean it’ll come true.

But I do know that if I work hard and take advantage of all that I have learnt and put myself through these few years, there is a lot more in me before I reach the limits of my potential.

And where will that lead me?

I’m not sure, but then when the time comes, I’ll experience.

For now, I’ll just imagine, and continue working my arse off.

Hurdles training 24/07/2012

Had a hurdle session today, block starts over 4 hurdles placed 1 foot in at 1m high (1 click below full competition height).

Hurdles is one of the events that I’ve always struggled with right from the start, in fact, I have never completed a race with 3 strides down all the way yet.

Today, whilst my technique wasn’t quite there as my legs were still heavy from yesterday’s hard 400m session, I was still going through each of my runs successfully. And then it struck me, gosh I’ve come a long way haven’t I?

So I went to look back at some of my video footages attempting hurdles a few years back, gosh the difference, take a look for yourself.

I guess for most of us, it always seem to take a heck of a lot longer than we though or hoped, but don’t give up. Hold on, work hard, you’ll get better I promise.

Hold on to the dream.

This is what a truely awesome concert looks like. Coldplay Mylo Xyloto @ Manchester 2012

I was at Coldplay’s concert in Manchester last Sunday and gosh, what an amazing experience that was. Somehow that to me is artistry at its highest, being able to communicate emotional content through sonic vibrations and visual extravagance. It was also a reminder to me on what a person can achieve being at the top of their game, relentlessly honing their craft.

I do wonder what will be my life’s greatest work, now that at 25 it just seems like this is the time to make it happen.

I seem to be torn between many identities at times, trying to be a decathlete, businessman, trader, and investor at the same time. With only 24 hours a day sometimes I just feel that I’m doing too much yet not doing the important things enough.

As one dream concludes, I still dream about my future.

Do I still dare to dream as big as I used to when I was young and idealistic? Or do I start to accept what I have fallen into now that I’m older and experienced?

I guess only time can tell.

In a perfect world, I will break 6000 points for decathlon by the end of the season, move back to Singapore for a year to prepare for the SEA games 2013 and get the business in Singapore running back in shape. After which I would come back to the UK for a season to prepare for the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow 2014 and by then my property portfolio here in the UK will be sizable and the internet company will be generating good revenues.

And when that’s done, I’ll head over to buy a house at Zuma beach and chill in California for a while.

Sounds like a pretty crazy future doesn’t it?

Haha, but dreams are just dreams and it’s always fun dreaming about the future.

But as what a good friend of mine said, the present is the only place where the future can be created. Having the guts to live in the present and do the work for the future is something that I must strive to everyday.

I hope you do too.

Will leave you with Coldplay’s performance for Steve Job after he passed away to celebrate his life. Song is about grabbing every day and treating it like your last, cheers!