Be Here, Now. A look back at 2014.

Merry Christmas!

Last few days of 2014.

What a year, what a year.

Seen a lot of post, courtesy of facebook, saying “It’s been a great year, thanks for being part of it.”

Well, I’ll be honest, 2014 hasn’t been great for me. It has been quite challenging with me going through a bout of depression at the start of the year.

Extended quarter-life crisis maybe?

In any case I guess it is coming to terms with the fact that the dreams I pursued whilst I was younger just didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to, and now I have to deal with the aftermath.

There really was a period when I was thinking #TIFU (this I f-ed up, a la Reddit’s thread), especially with how my 7 year on again off again relationship blew up, along with another relationship as well. It’s time I can never buy back for her and nothing kinda solves the pain and the paradox that blew it up.

But then there is a silver lining (there always is one if you look hard enough for it).

Having to deeply question myself and reflect upon the decisions that led me to what I am, I must say I’ve learnt a great deal from it.

Two big influences was the book “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” by Robert M. Pirsig and “Be Here Now” By Ram Dass.

To sum it up:

Everywhere you go, you’re still here in your mind.

Anytime it is, it’s still now that you’re here in.

So be here, now.

And that’s it.

However sinful a person may be, if he would stop wailing inconsolably: ‘Alas! I am a sinner, how shall I attain liberation?’ and, casting away even the thought that he is a sinner, if he would zealously carry on… he would most assuredly get reformed. – Ramana Maharshi, excerpt from Be Here Now by Ram Dass

For the longest time, reading through my journal, and probably a lot of my previous post in this blog, it shows the mental loop that I was stuck in, trying to get out but doing the same things repeatedly. And that’s the key, it’s not to keep trying, just doing and get on with it.

So the formulae still stays the same:

1. Dream big.
2. Make a plan (as best you can).
3. Get on with it and take the massive actions you need to take.
4. Keep getting those big and small task done on a daily basis.
5. Expect obstacles and things you had no idea you would have to encounter, but face them head on anyway and find ways to move through or around it.
6. Repeat until you get to where you want to be, which is likely to be where you’re at now (success is a state of mind, this part can be confusing, it took me a long time to understand this).

So trust yourself, trust your dreams, trust your struggles.

It’s longer and harder and more excruciating than you expect, but at the same time it’s a lot more beautiful than you can ever imagine.

So here’s to a great 2015.

Cheers!

Another wet day at Kallang Practice Track. 2014, that’s all folks!

P.s. Just an update, I have been selected by SAA to be considered for the 2015 SEA games, I now have until March 2015 to post a qualifying score. Well here goes 😉