There’s a difference between failing and being a failure.

Singapore Sports Hub, rainy day.

Singapore Sports Hub, rainy day.

And the months go by quick, hello 2014, almost hello February.

Past few months has been difficult, truth is I was depressed.

I felt that I was stuck, I felt that the thing I was most afraid of is almost coming true.

I keep trying to summon the strength to make resolutions and to get the strength to make it right, yet the weight of my past failures just crash down on me.

I look at my surrounds, the place I work at, where I live, and I just felt that the old me is just engulfing me, and I hate it.

What happened to all the dreams I talked about? The good life so to speak that I espoused to everyone I met? To chase what truly made you happy?

I felt like a fraud and a hypocrite.

Because mainly, I knew I didn’t work hard enough.

Truth was, I didn’t give it my all. More often than not, I took the easy way out.

I dropped reps when the sessions got tough, I didn’t stick to the training plans, my diet ran amok.

It’s easy to come up with the big plans and big dreams, but getting down to the small and unpleasant stuff, the daily grind, that’s what that counts.

And I didn’t make it count.

Now I feel like I wasted over a year when I could have been more focused on my training.

But that’s all over now.

What matters is what I’m going to do right now, and what I’m going in the future.

Focus, discipline, work.

Get fit, stick to the program, work my butt off.

SEA 2015.

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