Skyped my dad yesterday, somethings never change.
I must say, the biggest source of demotivation in my life, it’s not the lack of performance, it’s not the injuries, it’s not the lack of progress, it’s actually my parents.
I hate to say this, but it’s true. It’s always a love hate relationship.
My parents after all these years still think I’m wasting my time and life being on an ‘extended holiday’, as what my dad terms it, for long enough already and should start focusing on work and such.
He told me that dreams don’t always equate to realities and it’s time to move on.
Whilst I understand where he’s coming from, I can’t help but feel annoyed.
My parents grew up at a time where it was a struggle to survive, and thus the definition of success in their books is measured by the size of your wallet.
And as I mentioned before, I do admire my parents for they instilled in me the ethics of hard work, which is how they got to where they are, but I think I’ve grown to see the world from a different perspective.
Whilst I know I will never change their point of view, and that they may never understand, all I can do is to have faith in myself and continue in what I believe in.
After all, that’s how societies can change within a generation, when people dare to be different and show others that it’s actually ok.
Be the change you want to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi
It’s unfortunate, but to avoid unnecessary conflict and irritation, I have to cut down on my communications with my parents, hopefully my work will justify itself someday.
And when it’s my turn to have kids of my own, I will try to understand them instead of imposing my own views. Support them by teaching the lessons I’ve learnt along my way and then give them the tools they need to create their own life no matter how they see fit and understand that they will view the world very differently from me, and that’s ok.
And one day when my kids turn around to tell me that he or she has a dream, I’ll be able to look at them in their eyes and say:
Go for it kid, just like I did. =)
I am training for 2016. Wanna give your dream another go? We can train together.
Funny thing is that without realising it, training started last sunday when that last dec ended 😉
Nice. If you are coming back we can go for jogs together. And gym too. Then you can spend time on the track and I get back to the water (=
Sure bro, general fitness conditioning will be a large part of my winter phase which next year will be done in SG instead of here in UK. We’ll work something out when we get back, and build those income streams to fuel our dreams whilst we’re at it. Be back in 2 months, see you then!
Heya Bro! Thanks for opening up in this post. In someways, I can understand what you mean about this love-hate relationship with parents. I have it too with my mum, sometimes, she just irks the hell out of me with her behaviour, unconsciously forcing expectations and having false impressions about me. I once had a close conversation with another bro of mine, and he told me how his dad has this know-it-all attitude that really gets to him too sometime. Haha, well, I guess we all got to live with our own parents, but its comforting to know, that such problems are faced by other people, at least you and I ain’t alone in this.
Have you heard the song Running up the Hill by Kate Bush? Placebo played a remake of the song and there are these two lines that stick in my head:
“Is there so much hate for the ones we love?..
and
And if I only could,
I’d make a deal with god,
And I’d get him to swap our places,”
Try listening to it if you have the time!
Take care, and as a fellow friend of our generation, give your life all you got!
Nicolas
Hey bro,
Had a listen at the song, thanks for the intro!
Well I guess it’s just an inevitable part of life. But I’m sure they have very valid reason why they do what they do, and that they want the best for us.
As such, even though I get irritated at time, I do not get bitter. I acknowledge it, but move ahead anyway. I’m sure you find your ways of dealing with it too.
Will be back in Singapore soon, catch up with you then! Rock on!
YS