Well so today is my birthday, made it to 24 in more or less one piece now. But before you go wishing me on facebook or twitter, please don’t, I’ll let you know why.
I know that birthdays are supposed to be a happy occasion, but for me somehow it never really is.
For the longest time ever I spent all of my birthdays training one way or another. I make sure that on this day I train especially hard, I train till the point it hurts, then I train some more.
Somehow birthdays just remind me that yet another year has past and of all things I have still failed to achieve. I get reminded of all my scars, failures and disappointments. And in the pain I feel comfort, because it has been a constant companion with me through all these years, never letting me down.
What have I become, my sweetest friend?
I’m not too sure how long more I can run, my knees are honestly killing me sometimes now, more than I would care to admit. And further more things would be changing, my training partner Max would be moving off to train as a school teacher, something that he’s been trying to get a space in for a long time. Many of my best mates in Loughborough would be leaving and moving on with their lives as well. I don’t want to end up as one of those guys who just couldn’t let it go if you understand what I mean.
I’m running out of time, gotta get my sh*t together now.
24, here we go.
When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse.
Pick yourself up Yong. No one’s going to fix you now, so you better get started fixing yourself.
man. i wished you on twitter before i read this because my stupid 3G connection was bad. should i take it back?
also, i remember you sending me that Coldplay song back in jc when life (or rather, my grades) was the pits. keep going ok? if it’s going to have to end someday at least make it count now. but don’t kill yourself in the process please.
take care man (:
heyhey, thanks for wishing! No worries, I know you mean well. Being driven is a double edged sword sometimes, but don’t worry I made it to 24years +1day now. It’s funny how always it seems the closer you get the harder it becomes, but you’re right the end is in sight whether I like it or not so I might as well have the guts to see it through to the end now. Thank you very much once again =)
Pain is what reminds us that we are alive. The pain now reminds us of all the pain we have gone through in the past. If we give up now, all the pain would be for nothing. You can do it bro. You started this shyt, you’re the one who’s gotta clean it up nicely.
You’re right, I got to clean this shyt up. Gotta have the guts to see this through. Thanks bro!