Firstly apologies for the post being later than I promised, sometimes it’s hard to articulate myself through words the thought I have because in all honesty, I’m not a
goodnatural writer (you’ll be surprised how much time it actually takes to do some of these post).
Was at the driving range with my mates earlier and after 3 years of not swinging a golf club, I started hitting some balls down the range and was actually fairly decent at it. I’m always surprising myself and others how quickly I can pick things up at a basic level, but like all other events I then struggle to get any better. Oh and I’m once again off full training because my right Achilles tendon flared up (old injury), which is why I joined my mates down at the driving range in the first place.
It seems just like a replay of the story of my life: I was good but never great.
Skyped my parents earlier and got updated about how the business is going back home. The economy does seem to be picking up and there are plenty of opportunities waiting for me back there. When talking about how training was going my Dad mentioned out of curiosity about myself getting injured frequently, something that was echoed recently by some of my close friends.
It’s hard to explain, but I’ll admit that athletics is something I’m not naturally good at. Compared to other decs here, I just seem to be getting hurt a lot more often and somehow I just don’t seem to ‘get’ some of the events.
In comparison, I am lucky enough to be in a position that I can give this up and after a 13 hour flight be back in my old life handling projects over 7 digits once again. And even though it’s not an easy life either, I was somehow a lot better at it naturally and not to mention a lot better off financially, compared to worrying about how I’m going to be paying for my school fees and living expenses here next year.
Now that my undergrad degree is done, it does seem that I had my chance and it’s time to move on with my life.
I keep asking myself, am I turning into one of those guys who just couldn’t let it go?
So why did I start this journey? I did it to prove a point.
I didn’t choose this path for the past 3 years because I was good at this.
In fact if you look at my sprinting and jumping results I would say I was and still am pretty rubbish at it.
I chose it to prove a point.
I chose it to prove that I can.
I chose it to prove that I can be who I thought I could be despite what happened to me in the army, that I could fight my way out of it. And that if I could do it, anyone through the force of your own free will is able to shape and direct your life in a direction that you imagined.
I remember a time when I was trawling through self-help books and realised that there were a lot of people who claim to be successful by teaching others to be successful (it’s a weird unnaturally kind of ‘inbreeding’, for a lack of a better word to express it, in my opinion, and something MLMs thrive on). I didn’t want to play pretend (which was one of the reasons why I decided not to pursue a line in modelling/acting after being scouted when I was younger, but that’s another story), I wanted to walk the talk and simply show that it was possible. You might not end up exactly where you want to go, but you’ll head towards where you need to be.
I think back and look at my 2 decathlons completed, how I earned a spot to represent my country here overseas, the people I’ve met, the experiences and lessons I’ve gained and though it might not be exactly what I hoped for, I think I did ok.
‘The status quo can do fine without you.’ -Chase Jarvis
Read the brilliant post from Chase Jarvis and it reminded me that going back to my old life was just accepting status quo, that without me status quo went on fine for another 3 years and it’ll probably go fine for just one more.
But on the other hand, this one more year here as a decathlete could mean everything.
After my graduation a new chapter of my life will begin and the same feeling I got after I left the army is back. The feeling of having to decide what to do next with your life.
A blank chapter lies ahead that have yet to be written.
I don’t want the story to end like this.
‘Certainty of death, small chance of success, what are we waiting for?’ – Gimli, The Lord of The Rings.